Raising Kids
Making a difference
Even though Betty never had legal status as a parent, she did play a role in raising kids and she has had an impact. First through a relationship she had in her youth and then later, by volunteering at the LGBT Center.
She said about this relationship, “I probably made a bad choice, which was somebody who was married. Her name was Carolyn. She was married and had two kids. The next thing you know, I was a 26-year-old with two kids, a wife, and a pregnant sister-in-law in my little apartment. It was nerve-wracking! She was beautiful! This woman was absolutely gorgeous! That was when I learned the lifelong lesson of, “Pretty is skin deep, and ugly is clean to the bone.” That was the lesson. “Don’t ever screw with anybody who has kids if the relationship isn’t solid. That’s a rule you should write on your forehead!”
The youngest was only six months old when Betty first came into their lives. This is Renee.
Betty says, “I spent six years with her, all bad, except for the kids. The kids were great! She finally took enough pills that I had to ask her husband to come and do something with her because I was going to lose my job because I had to keep going home and taking care of her. I said, “You are either going to have to do something with her because I legally can’t, or your kids are not going to have anything to eat, because you’re damn sure not feeding them.” I said, “If I lose my job, then I’m not going to be able to feed your kids.” We had, by this time, moved to a nice apartment.
At Betty’s 69th birthday party, the older of the two, Debbie, came to the party. She told the story about her mom jumping out the window, and Betty grabbing hold of her by grabbing her legs. Betty says, “She was pulling me out the window, and this 12-year-old kid jumped on me and pulled me back in far enough that I could get some leverage to pull this woman back in. I spent three or four days... I wrapped her in sheets and the cushions off the couch. I wrapped her on those cushions with a sheet and put my feet on her to keep her from hurting herself. He finally did something with her.” All three of them worked at the same place, Carter Carburetor.
Everyone at the party was given a nametag and we were to put on the tag how long we had known Betty or even how we knew her. Look closely and you see the nametag says, Deb, Betty’s daughter.
Betty says about her girlfriend, the mother of these two girls, “Usually, she was on sick leave. Why didn’t I see any of this? Well, I was 26! That wasn’t enough for me. I still bought a mobile home out in Fenton and lived with her and the two kids. When I moved in with her, the baby was six months old. When I left her, the baby was six. It broke my heart. That’s why you should be careful with women with kids. It broke my friggin’ heart!”
Both of the girls are still in Betty’s life. This is Renee, all grown up.
It was many, many years later when Betty volunteered at the LGBT Center. It was a place to get information about almost anything you wanted to know. We had all the information there, like, “Where’s a doctor? Where’s a dentist? Where’s a good place to live? What bar do I want to go to? Is this a good neighborhood?” There were psychology groups and different groups for people in need, especially about HIV and that type of information.”
“One of the things that we did really well was support people. There were a lot of people who came in saying, My God, my 16-year-old son just told me that he’s gay. They’re worried because they think he’s going to be beaten up. That type of thing, everybody at the Center was very good at, hugging, giving a shoulder, sending them to PFLAG and off to the different places they needed to go to have their worries taken care of. A lot of times we had the kids in here too. They just needed to know someone cared about them.”
Below is another picture at the 69th birthday party, Debbie with her husband. And speaking of parties, guess what Betty is turning 90 soon and there is going to be a big bash.
We will post pictures for any of you that can’t make it.
And one more note, next Monday will be Betty and Cindy’s 36th anniversary!! Congratulations!
